Why do eating disorders start?

Reflections from a tastelife Lunchtime Webinar. By Cherry Dakin

Trigger warning: This blog discusses eating disorders.

In February last year, we began hosting short, lunchtime webinars exploring different themes relating to eating disorders. Our first was on one of the most complicated questions we receive: Why do eating disorders start?

I am Cherry and have lived experience of complete recovery from an eating disorder. I work for tastelife as our Youth and Online Learning Lead and, for this lunchtime webinar, I had a chat with Di Archer, our co-founder and CEO of tastelife. Together we had a gentle, honest conversation about how and why eating disorders develop, how they affect individuals and their families, and what truly helps someone recover.

We began with the NICE definition. Eating disorders are characterised by persistent disturbance of eating or eating-related behaviour, which alters intake or absorption of food and leads to significant harm, both physically and emotionally’. Many people are familiar with anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder, but there are others too, such as orthorexia, an unhealthy obsession with clean eating.

Eating disorders don’t discriminate. They can affect anyone, any gender, any ethnicity, and at any stage of life. However, those most vulnerable are aged between 13 and 17, but onset commonly appears anywhere between 13 and 25.

When life feels overwhelming

During our chat, we each shared our personal stories which described how a combination of pressures and vulnerabilities created the perfect storm, leading to an eating disorder.

Di’s daughter was at university when she became unwell. She had glandular fever, undiagnosed depression, high academic pressure, and both parents facing possible serious illness. She felt alone, overwhelmed and unable to cope. At that vulnerable point, food became a coping strategy. Although not a conscious decision, food was something she turned to when life felt overwhelming.

My experience began around age 15. I struggled with low self-esteem, pressure to perform academically, and comments from others that chipped away at my confidence. My eating became erratic, and over time it quietly evolved into a coping mechanism. Everything I saw in the media told me I should look a certain way and I really believed I would be happier and be more confident if I looked like that ‘ideal’. Constant pressure on young people, especially girls, to look a certain way is nothing new and social media has only increased the pressure. Teen brains are wired for instant results, and usually lack the ability to consider the long-term consequences to their actions. So, when you are an awkward teenager, desperate to ‘fit in’ and still trying to figure out who you are, the idea of a ‘quick fix’ of radical dieting and exercising, can feel incredibly appealing. 

‘It felt like control. Until it controlled me’

Many people talk about eating disorders being connected with a need for control. If someone had said that to me when I was a teenager, I would not have seen it that way at all. But, looking back as an adult, I now recognise that it did give me some sense of control during an emotionally difficult time in my life. However, what began as a coping mechanism quickly became something that took over, bringing guilt, shame, secrecy and ultimately a sense of being trapped in a vicious cycle.

For me, the moment I realised I was no longer in control and needed help was when I read somewhere that eating disorders are ‘serious mental health conditions.’ I was shocked and frightened. I remember feeling embarrassed too, and unsure what to do next.

When families notice…or don’t

Di shared that her family didn’t initially notice her daughter’s eating disorder. Looking back, she can see the signs clearly: changes in behaviour, mood, eating habits and physical appearance. But at the time, like so many families, they simply didn’t realise what they were witnessing. They only discovered the shocking truth when their daughter was admitted to hospital, dangrously ill. It was a moment Di describes as ‘terrifying’. Faced with the unknown, they thought ‘What the heck do we do now?’

Their first step was to seek help from someone who had experience of supporting people with eating disorders. During this journey, they encountered gaps in available support, especially for parents, which eventually became part of the story of how tastelife began.

I told my mum at around age 17. I was terrified, and it took enormous courage to tell her. Thankfully, my mum stayed calm, kept loving me, found support for herself, and gently helped me access help too. Di and I agreed that it is incredibly hard for someone to ask for help and it is vital that the person they speak to responds with compassion rather than panic.

Di also encouraged families to listen without judgement, to remember that eating disorders are nobody’s fault, and to seek professional advice. Accompanying someone to the GP can make a huge difference. And equally important is to remember that parents and carers need support too.

Opening up the conversation. Preventing eating disorders.

One of my biggest passions now is prevention. Of course, we cannot remove all pressures from young people’s lives, but we can create safe environments where conversations about food, our bodies and our emotions are normal. Eating disorders thrive in secrecy, so talking openly can be a powerful protective factor.

tastelife offers resources to help these conversations happen earlier. The Youth Track educational resource is designed for use with teenagers, both to prevent eating disorders and to support counsellors or mentors in early intervention. The tastelife Recovery Course is available for older teens and adults, as well as parents and carers, providing guidance, community and hope.

Full recovery is possible

If there was just one message that Di and I wanted everyone to leave with, it was this: Full recovery from an eating disorder is absolutely possible. Not just ‘some improvement’ but full recovery. It happens, and we have seen it time and time again.

Eating disorders steal life. But together, we can take that life back.

Read more about our Community Recovery Course. If you have any questions about a specific situation, you are welcome to email us at hello@tastelifeuk.org